Thoughts on life without physical offspring.
The Bean Queen
Last week I went to visit Karen Hurd. Commonly called the "Bean Queen," she is a woman of nutritional healing renown. I had toyed with the idea of going to see her since I first heard about her last spring, but I wasn't ready to give up sugar, which I knew would be on her list of forbidden foods. What finally drove me to her office was my dilemma over what to feed a newborn child. I've been a firm believer in the benefits of breast feeding and always thought that I'd breast feed my children, never really thinking about the alternatives for adopted children, until recently. Formula has gotten a lot of bad press. My own brief on-line research effort ended in frustration and confusion. Especially after I came across the concept of induced breast feeding. Should I attempt this? Could I? Did I even want to? Not really, but should I?
So, I made an appointment with the hope that I would gain some wisdom about best options for feeding a baby. And if I got some help for getting my thyroid working properly, then that would great too. I learned quickly that Karen is a no-nonsense sort of a person. She spent a total of 2 minutes on the feeding-of-the-baby question. The answer: hypo-allergenic soy formula. She also definitively put the smack down on any ideas of induced breast feeding. She pointed out that my body is not producing enough hormones for itself, so don't even try. Attempting to induce lactation would be an exercise in frustration. I was glad to be let off that hook.
Moving on to me, she bluntly declared, "I can make you fertile."
My first thought was, "that's not why I'm here."
My second thought, "thanks for the warning."
Naturally, fertility would be a side-effect of proper hormonal functioning. I hadn't really been considering this idea until that moment. When I came home, I asked Ed, "What do you think? Do we want to get pregnant?" We don't even know anymore. I've been so focused on this adoption track, laying out all my plans for how many kids we'll adopt, and when, etc. Pregnancy would only complicate things. But then, I'm realizing I should be getting used to life messing with my plans. Seems that God likes to keep us flexible.
I would really like to be done with hormone replacement. So I'm ready to follow through on Karen's prescription. I guess we'll deal with the fertility issue when we get there. If we are to join the pregnancy-after-adoption 10%, the Bean Queen will have to take a bow.
For the curious, here's the basics of what she prescribed for me for the next three months. I'm game.
- a palm sized piece of efficient protein for breakfast (lean meat or eggs)
- 1/2 cup of beans (any bean) 3 times a day
- 1 1/2 cups of nuts (any nuts) per day, 1 1/2 hours away from consuming beans
- 3 to 5 servings of vegetables per day
- a half gallon of water per day
- 8 hours of sleep per day
no sugar, no artificial sweeteners, no gum, no fruit or juice, no dairy products, no saturated fats, no fatty meat, no caffeine, no tea (not even herbal tea)
I can eat starches like breads, rice, crackers, popcorn, etc. Seeds, nut butters, condiments, lemons, limes, soy products, carbonated water, and almond milk are all allowed too.
The success stories of those who have followed Karen Hurd's recommendations are most impressive. This woman gets results. But, it's clear when you are in her office that she doesn't mess around. She expects "compliance." If you go to see her, you won't be handled with kid gloves.
Karen has got a lot of great information on her website. You can check her out at KarenHurd.com. (At the very least, her article on why beans don't give you gas is worth a read).
Please pass the beans.
Pregnancy After Adoption
I've decided to start out with this topic as it tends to be a popular prediction: "once you adopt a child, then you'll probably get pregnant." True. It could happen. I know at least one family where this was the case. But I know several more for whom it was not. If this prediction bears out in our case, we would certainly be pleased. But we're not going to be hanging any hopes on it. In fact, I think I can fairly say that if this is not our lot, we will not suffer disappointment over it. Those sorrows, I believe, have been laid to rest.
I recently came across a statistic relating to this very subject, which I found to be quite helpful. A medical doctor/fertility expert was called upon to comment on a couple's story of infertility then adoption then pregnancy. He explained that the reason these stories catch our attention and stick with us is that they are rare. In actuality this kind of thing happens about 10% of the time. The very same incidence of pregnancy in couples who have struggled with infertility but did not adopt. So there we have it.
Even my doctor made the pregnancy prediction for me this fall as he filled out my adoption health form. In that moment, I somehow couldn't bring myself to trot out my relevant statistic. Felt like it would have been rude of me. Seems that when people are making the prediction to you, they are wishing you well. So I just smiled and said, "maybe" and quietly wondered if I should have told him anyway. He is a doctor after all and maybe he should know this. But I can never seem to come out with the numbers, once the prediction has been spoken.
