We just wanted to let everyone know that we did get the final word this afternoon that D. has decided to parent her baby with family members providing back up help if she needs it.
We
know that this outcome is good and that God has a plan, and there is a
child yet for our family. This helps. But the pain of it all is still deep. We wonder if it
is really possible to enter into adoption and at the same time guard
one's heart. So here
we are, prying our hearts off of this tiny little dream.
Thank you everyone for your loving support. Thank you friends and family and neighbors for all your help so far and for your readiness to hold down the fort for us. Everyone can relax now, but we'll be counting on you again sometime in the future.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Friday, June 13, 2014
The Waiting
Good news today! A baby girl was born to our birth mom (D.) this morning at 6:19 am after a 5 am inducement. Baby and birth mom are doing well.
We are standing by, ready to receive this baby should a decision move in our direction, but our birth mother has new factors to consider. Family members have come into the picture, offering to raise the child. So, D. is weighing her options. The agency counselor who has been working with the birth mom has been great. I am so glad for the support she has provided for D. through all of this, helping her evaluate choices for her and for her baby without any pressure in one direction or the other. I am also very glad for the support she has provided for us, kindly keeping us updated on all that is happening.
Those who are inclined to pray, we'd appreciate prayer for this dear birth mother - for a clear head and a peaceful heart as she seeks to make the best decision for herself and for her precious baby.
We'd appreciate prayer also for ourselves. Our hearts are weary.
The great news for this baby is that, no matter the decision, she will have a loving family.
We are standing by, ready to receive this baby should a decision move in our direction, but our birth mother has new factors to consider. Family members have come into the picture, offering to raise the child. So, D. is weighing her options. The agency counselor who has been working with the birth mom has been great. I am so glad for the support she has provided for D. through all of this, helping her evaluate choices for her and for her baby without any pressure in one direction or the other. I am also very glad for the support she has provided for us, kindly keeping us updated on all that is happening.
Those who are inclined to pray, we'd appreciate prayer for this dear birth mother - for a clear head and a peaceful heart as she seeks to make the best decision for herself and for her precious baby.
We'd appreciate prayer also for ourselves. Our hearts are weary.
The great news for this baby is that, no matter the decision, she will have a loving family.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Here we go!
Well! we wanted to speed things up a bit and I guess we got what we asked for.
About 3 weeks ago we got the call. Ed came home that night and we sat at the table and looked at each other. Then we looked at our calendars. I felt the coolness of color leaving my face. Ed prayed for endurance. And then we saddled up for a crazy ride. Ever since, it's been an intense trip of short sleep and highly caffeinated living - not exactly the best way to prepare for life with a newborn, but stuff's gotta get done.
The birth mother with whom we are matched is due June 10. I talked with the birth mother's counselor today following her latest doctor appointment. They say they she is 39 weeks and 5 days along. (Ed asked me what this meant). We've known from the time of our match that this baby could show up at any moment. But when you lay 39 weeks and 5 days onto the 40 week pregnancy calendar, it can bring on some shallow breathing.
Fortunately our ducks are starting to line up, so we may have a sliver of time to sleep and breathe before we set out for Georgia.
Here's some of the basic information on our match.
Birth mother is in her 30's. She has 2 girls ages 6 and 9.
She lives in Atlanta.
We have spoken with her on the phone and had a very nice conversation.
The baby is a girl.
Georgia law is that TPR (termination of parental rights) is not final until 10 days after the baby is born. This means that a birth mother can change her mind about her adoption plan any time in those first 10 days of her baby's life. Our adoption agency strongly counsels against adoptive families traveling before those 10 days are up, as they have a high rate of birth mothers deciding to parent their babies. We have not yet made up our minds about travel plans, but we will likely be waiting a bit before heading south. If our birth mom follows through with her adoption plan, the baby will stay with a foster family in what's called "bridge care" until TPR is final and we arrive.
As it was with Audrey's adoption, we will not be able to cross state lines with the baby until the ICPC (Interstate Compact for Protection of Children) paperwork has all been processed which will be 10 to 12 days after TPR. So, it could be another steamy southern summer vacation for the Chew family very soon.
It is exciting to have a match, and yet we're cautious. There could be a reversal ahead. So we are measuring our hearts accordingly, while remaining fully committed to this sweet birth mom and her little baby.
Among the many things for which I am thankful right now is this: we won't have long to wait to find out if we are family.
About 3 weeks ago we got the call. Ed came home that night and we sat at the table and looked at each other. Then we looked at our calendars. I felt the coolness of color leaving my face. Ed prayed for endurance. And then we saddled up for a crazy ride. Ever since, it's been an intense trip of short sleep and highly caffeinated living - not exactly the best way to prepare for life with a newborn, but stuff's gotta get done.
The birth mother with whom we are matched is due June 10. I talked with the birth mother's counselor today following her latest doctor appointment. They say they she is 39 weeks and 5 days along. (Ed asked me what this meant). We've known from the time of our match that this baby could show up at any moment. But when you lay 39 weeks and 5 days onto the 40 week pregnancy calendar, it can bring on some shallow breathing.
Fortunately our ducks are starting to line up, so we may have a sliver of time to sleep and breathe before we set out for Georgia.
Here's some of the basic information on our match.
Birth mother is in her 30's. She has 2 girls ages 6 and 9.
She lives in Atlanta.
We have spoken with her on the phone and had a very nice conversation.
The baby is a girl.
Georgia law is that TPR (termination of parental rights) is not final until 10 days after the baby is born. This means that a birth mother can change her mind about her adoption plan any time in those first 10 days of her baby's life. Our adoption agency strongly counsels against adoptive families traveling before those 10 days are up, as they have a high rate of birth mothers deciding to parent their babies. We have not yet made up our minds about travel plans, but we will likely be waiting a bit before heading south. If our birth mom follows through with her adoption plan, the baby will stay with a foster family in what's called "bridge care" until TPR is final and we arrive.
As it was with Audrey's adoption, we will not be able to cross state lines with the baby until the ICPC (Interstate Compact for Protection of Children) paperwork has all been processed which will be 10 to 12 days after TPR. So, it could be another steamy southern summer vacation for the Chew family very soon.
It is exciting to have a match, and yet we're cautious. There could be a reversal ahead. So we are measuring our hearts accordingly, while remaining fully committed to this sweet birth mom and her little baby.
Among the many things for which I am thankful right now is this: we won't have long to wait to find out if we are family.
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